The month of February is associated with many special occasions such as Valentine’s Day, meaning romance. This is the opportunity to show your loved ones how much they mean to you by showering them with gifts, planned dates, proposals, romance, and so much more. This includes, but is not limited, to intimacy. But the type of intimacy I want to talk to you about today is way beyond that physical touch or physical connection we could have with one another.

Let me ask you the following questions: What does it mean to be intimate with your partner? When are you most intimate with your partner?

When we think of the word intimacy, or being intimate with someone, the vast majority of individuals will automatically associate intimacy as being sexual with someone. Many of us have very little knowledge on what is it to be intimate without being sexual. I want to encourage you think outside the box. Yes, outside the sexual aspect of being intimate box. I want to help you understand what it means to be intimate without being sexual.

Being intimate with your partner could mean being emotionally understanding when they open up to you. When he or she feels safe being around you and they let their guard down. How intimate is that? Imagine feeling safe around the person you love and care for the most; you become completely vulnerable, stripping away your thoughts, fears, and ideas and feel completely safe. Your partner listens to you without judgement and there are no repercussions for speaking your mind.

Imagine having a safe conversation with your partner about something they did or said that was hurtful, and they actually listen to what you have to say. Not only do they listen, they also apologize for their behavior without placing the blame on you. Imagine being able to create and maintain healthy boundaries with your partner without the fear of their reaction. How beautiful and intimate is that? Being able to trust your partner with your deepest secrets, knowing they will not judge you or tell others what you shared with them, is very intimate.

Relationships based on physical or sexual attractiveness are not sustainable relationships. If you don’t know how to be intimate without being sexual, please contact YWCA Northwestern Illinois and register for our Partner Abuse Intervention Program. The Partner Abuse Intervention Program is designed to help individuals gain a clear understanding of the concept of intimate abuse. You will learn alternatives methods of communication in order to build trust and respect withing your intimate relationship.

If you find yourself being a victim of intimate abuse, please call the help lines below.

• Illinois Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-(877) 863-6338
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-(800) 799-7233

Helplines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Advocates can help answer questions and provide support for all callers: victims, family, and friends. Please remember all calls are confidential.

-Estefania Barrientos, YWCA Northwestern Illinois La Voz Latina FAC Parent Educator/PAIP Coordinator