Would it be nice to live in a world free of violence? Can you image it? It sounds like something that could only exist in a fairy tale world. What if I told you that in your world that could be possible? It is because change starts with you. If we want our world to be free of violence then we need to take a look at the beliefs that we have that support our violent behaviors.

What do we need to change within ourselves to be non-violent?

One way you can end violence in your world is by not using force or threats to get others to do what you want them to do. We need to communicate respectfully and lead by example. If the other person is not willing to listen then respectfully walk away and provide a safe space for all parties involved. Some people have the belief that by being non-violent will show weakness and that we need to use violence to get our point across. Who taught them that? Are they aware when they’re being violent with others?

Have you ever stopped and paid attention to your tone of voice or how the way you look at someone can come across as intimidating or violent?

Consider where people learned to be violent, because we are not born to be violent. We become violent as a result of our environment. Let me ask you, how did your caregivers respond to your everyday needs? How did they discipline you when you did something wrong? Did they give you the ‘look’ or raise their voice? When they raised their voice and gave you that look, I guarantee you knew you were in trouble. How about when you did not get your way? What did you do to let your caregivers know you were upset? Maybe you stomped your feet, slammed doors, cabinets, or even made a face. After you got their attention, consequences followed and more violence was showed to you. How about your peers at school? I’m sure there were bullies that intimidated you or picked on you. You knew it was coming your way by the way they looked at you.

Now that you’re all grown, subconsciously, you know that by simply given a look or raising your voice you will gain power over another person. That, my friend, is considered a violent behavior among others. Yes, you have the right to protect yourself if your life is being threated, but when is it self-defense and when does it become retaliation? Only you know your intentions behind your behaviors.

Be aware that those sorts of behaviors lead to violence and intimidation. How are you going to change your world? Are you going to be more cautious when responding to others within your world? If we want the cycle of violence to stop then we need to start making changes within ourselves; we will see how the world will be more joyful and less violent.

-Estefania Barrientos, YWCA Northwestern Illinois La Voz Latina FAC Parent Educator/PAIP Coordinator